LAST NAMES ARE HOMOSEX.

why?
why were these shenanigans invented?
i mean, the obvious answer is "so people with the same first name wouldnt get mixed up with someone else"
but some of these, are insane
and could ruin ones life.

e.g robin candy.
yes robin, i used you in my example.
professions he shouldnt work in
a) candy store
b)dentist
c)doctor
well when i say b) and c) i mean, what kind of dentist or doctor would be called doctor candy?

what robin should really do is become a paedophile,
and tell his victims that he has "lots of candy"
and trust me, i think thats a profession he may have considered.

and then there is gabriel.
gabriel hurtz.
"hey im doctor hurtz"
little children: *douse selves in gasoline*

FUN.

and aj.
alex jackaman

after much talk about the best profession, priyanka, james, alex h and i dedcided he shouild work with sperm samples
"hello, i'll leave you in here to make your sample, if you need any help just as doctor jackaman."
jack
a
man
yum,

my english teacher is so perverted
"well then, alex jack-a-woman"
oh
now thats just disgusting.
just disgusting.
and messy.

doctor sammut sounds so much more professional.
apart from the fact everyone think my last name is salmon.
SALMON IS A PINK FISH.
DOUCHEBAGS.

and then theres james' doctor
called doctor butcher.
now thats just something, you don't want to imagine.
ever.

i wish we could choose our own first and last names.
id be hugh jass.
thankyou, and goodnight.

MYSPACE RAMBLINGSSS!!

RANTTTT (on music mostly)

bloody hell i really hate the jonas brothers
and when i say that, i mean no offence to the people who like them.
they probably already know their insane.


i mean, i was watching video hits the other day becasuie rage had finished on the other channel
and this song comes on By the jonas brothers
i think its called paranoid?
or some other shitty title
and the whole fucking video

IS THEM

i mean ew
their ugly
especially the guy with the sideburns
And so in this video
its pretty much them in a car
looking at their dastardly reflection
who would do that
their like, puke.
i mean seriously, if you just like their music and thats the reason you blike them,i have a BIT more respect for you

BUT LISTEN TO 'SOMETHING CORPORATE'


becasue seriouslythey sorta sound like the jonas brothers, except their not gay/spend every minute of their time looking at themselves.
so yes
, please
listen to something corporate instead.
i know you arent going to.
but whatevs.
falling for you is their best song
but that one sounds nothing like the jonas brothers :


AND ALSO





i hate it when people put their 'music' section of myspace as bands that they honestly know nothing about
like
for example
i was cruising through myspace
and this person
had all these bands in their music section
and they had bullet for my valentine which, is of course, a good band
but they spelt it
"boolit for my valentin"
WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK


okay, you know who you are

GET A BOOK, READ IT, AND STOP PRETENDING TO LIKE BANDS THAT YOU DONT

and like someone else wrote "bring me horizons"
instead of "bring me the horizon"
I LOLD.
like at first, i thought it was a different band so i googled it.
no results.
i lol'd because that person obviously knows absolutely nothing about anything.to that person, you're an idiot too, you know who you are.
stop pretending to like bands that you. fucking. dont


AND ALSO

when their music section is full of bands- full of 34897398456+ bands
and then people go
...and many more!

and its like
"fuck you, i bet that you don't like over 80% of those bands, and youre doing that to sound cool ok. and i bet that you have like one of their songs, and are saying that their "the best band ever omg!!" fuck you, just fuck you"

JUSTFUCKYOURSELFOK?

oh and i also hate
those people who have in their books section
"LOL BOOKS ARE FOR NERDS"
or
"i dont read ayyyye"
or even worse
"i dun ReAd Cuz Bookz Are Fur NerdZ!!"
okay i cannot stress this enough
IF YOU DO THAT, DELETE THAT NOW. BECAUE YOURE PRETTY MUCH SAYING TO EVERYONE THAT VISITS YOUR PAGE THAT YOURE A PRISSY LITTLE BOGAN SLUT WHO IS TRYING TO IMPRESS THE FIRST GUY THAT VISITS THEIR PAGE THAT THEIR STUPID AND CANT READ.


im not actually a bitch
i just really hate people who do those things :

so while im on the topic of what i hate, i may as well continue.
i hate winter
a lot.
EW.
ITS HOMOSEXUAL OKAY
its so cold
and i hate the rain
im like a cat
i like feline warm
haha im so funny :

winter should die.

anyway.
im going to stop talking about things i hate, other wise ill never shut up.
i shall write a better blog later!
tata my lovelies!
and subscribe you niggersss!!!

Ive never written a blog before, dont blame me for the crappiness

okay.
so if you couldn't already tell, i've never written a blog before.
every word i type is being underlined in that annoying red line telling me when i've spelt a word wrong.
I DONT CARE MACHINE!

anyway,
I just thought id rant about something we all know- truth.
Possibly we have heard the saying "the truth will set you free"
whoever said this, is speaking a load of kdefukfu!
examples.

my english teacher tells us that when we make a statement, we must follow it up with proof, so heres an example i think we can all relate to.
Freddie Krueger*

Do you honestly think that if dear old Freddie was caught and took to court (hehe see what i did there?) and he said "yeah bruh, i did kill all those people in their sleep and leave a big pool of blood for those poor old paramedics to clean up" and then he wiggled his extra long arms for the whole jury to see, that he would actually be let off scott free?


Yes, he would.
But this is because the members of the jury would be so scared of good ol' freddie that they would say whatever he wanted them to.

The moral is that power is stronger than truth. It also helps if you have knives for fingernails and aren't actually real.


"Oh," you say, "that was a really crap example Lisa." Very well then, I'll provide another, as I am just so kind and generous and everyone loves me lots and lots (see how easy it is to lie?)
example number 2)[insert famous guys name here]
So, [famous guy] is walking down the street and a group of fan girls notice this. poor old [famous guy] is being persued by these girls until one of them asks him "hey, are you [famous guy]? because if you are, I will totally take you home and we'll get freaky."
[famous guy] says yes, he is [famous guy] and that he would love to go home with her, thinking he can get some.

Next thing he knows he's chained to a bed with no way of escaping and this fan girl turns out to be really fat and looking somewhat like your great grandmother Mildred.
see? the truth SHANT set you free.

However, on the contrary, it is acceptable to tell the truth and to lie.
Which brings me to this instance.

See, my brother comes from Sydney yesterday as my other brother is getting married soon.
he's organising the bucks night and getting everything all sorted, and decides to show me what he plans to have. I soon discover he has gotten boob pinatas, a wind up pair of boobs (yes, they have those, shockingly), bob antennas, an apron with a girls body on it and also some boob confetti. Now this is all well and good- he however did NOT have to show me himself in full costume. So imagine this, your INNOCENTLY going about your daily business, maybe making a death plot or two, when your brother comes in (if you don't have a brother just imagine your father or other mentally scarring family member) to the room, dressed full in boob apron, boob antennas, holding a boob pinata and carefully winding up a wind up boob. I am just thankful he does not have any bucking boobs (like bucking bulls, only more erotic) otherwise I may have been forced to have a go.

So my brother says to me
"Hey Lis' what do you think of my outfit"
Now, being the kind, considerate, thoughtful sister (lie number 1) I am, i say to him
"oh.. its so lovely! you look very attractive!" (lie number 2)
"Yeah, it' pretty awesome, This boob pinata was $70, the biggest boob i've ever seen!" (im assuming this will be truth number 1)
"okay, I hope you enjoy your boob." (lie number 3)
My brother insists on wearing his boob antennae at the dinner table.
all well and good, until he starts talking seriously and passionately about something and the boobs jiggle around vigorously and i cannot help but laugh uncontrollably until tears are streaming out of my eyes. Now, I am a very mature young chap (lie number 4) and try to keep my laughter in, though i fail.

See?
it is definitely acceptable to lie in some cases.
However, you do not want to go and say something stupid like "DEAREST BROTHER, YOUR BOOBS LOOK PLENTIFUL, I REALLY DO ADORE YOUR MARVELLOUS TASTE!"
otherwise you will find yourself like me, wearing a boob apron, and complaining about the truth.
ANYWHO,
thats the first (and probably, seeing as noone will read this, the last) of my blogs, and i hope you enjoyed my lovely writing skills.
I think I'm also obliged to say that jennifer and rebecca are homos (truth number 2)
GOOD DAY!

*the guy from "a nightmare on elm street" who has knives for his fingernails and kills people in his sleep. WATCH THE MOVIE NOW!