Recyclables and posers.

So, I am angry at the current moment.

Fear me.


I had always thought there was only really ONE thing i hated.

Posers.

Turns out there is another thing I hate.

Recyclable Girls.

But let me start out with posers.

You may be asking yourself any of the following:
1)What IS a poser?
2)What is for dinner tonight?
3)How do I abduct Craig Mabbitt?

questions 2 and 3 are ones i think about every day.

number 1 however, is much more pressing.


(also sometimes spelt "poseurs")

How to tell you're a poser:

1)You pretend to like bands you actually don't.
For example, you say you like bands like [insert awesome band like RHCP here], but really you're more into shitty artists who mean nothing to anyone but shallow dickheads, like "Lil Wayne" or "Black Eyed Peas"

Okay, I'll admit. In year 5, i LOVED the black eyed peas.
I, however, grew out of this and realised there were actually some good bands in existence.


Now, you may be going through your iTunes library to discover whether you have bands that make you a poser.
HOWEVER, having those bands doesn't make you a poser.
LYING that you love those artists does.

For example, let's say for the hell of it there is a super attractive member of the opposite sex.
Let's name him/her Sexy McSex.

Sexy McSex is your dream, okay?
Turns out they like the complete opposite of what i like
(e.g they like being a poser, basketball, top 40 music, fishing)


NOTE: there is NOTHING wrong with those things (apart from being a poser), as we are assuming that Sexy McSex acually DOES like these things, I was merely using these as an example.

To be a poser, and thus gain social acceptance from Sexy, would be to say

'REALLY? I LOVE BEING A POSER, BASKETBALL, TOP 40 MUSIC AND FISHING!!!"


A more mild form would be
"oh yes, i HAVE heard of The Doors!" to some attractive kid who likes them (obviously raised right), when you really haven't.




Now, I don't want to place the blame on anyone.
But generally, as a rule of thumb, people who are posers like things such as:

being a poser
masturbating furiously to pictures of Justin Bieber
listening to music softly
getting drunk every weekend (in the mind of a teen, especially a female, this gains social acceptance from males; the female thinks the male will see them as 'cool' and 'fun' when really it just makes her trashy)
taking pictures of self from different angles
going online and pretending to hate everything
talking about how much they hate their life online
among other things.

which brings me to another subject.

how to SPOT a poser.


1)bintang shirt.

ONE THING I CANNOT STAND IS A BINTANG SHIRT
ON EITHER GENDER, I DO NOT CARE.

It also makes me very breathless as every time i see a person wearing it i must mutter a comment about how i hope they burn in a very deep hole.

The reason a female wears a bintang shirt is because, well, it makes their body look better.
They think.

They believe it makes them look more like a sex object, which many females want to achieve.

The reason a male wears this shirt is to maintain a status of being "Dardy" or the recent slang term used to describe someone "cool" by bogan standards.


2)Hair which looks like a cinammon scroll.

I must thank my friend Andy for this.

*horde of girls with shitty bleach blonde hair and some with brunette hair walk by, each with hair placed on top of their head*
ANDY: why do those girls have cinammon scrolls on their head?
LISA+MARY: SO MUCH ORDERING OF LINGUINI RIGHT NOW.


now, the thing is,
these girls think this also makes them "dardy"

Because they cannot bear to be independent.
No way, they must be the recyclable girls.
The recyclable girl is one who is dating a boy one week, then has her friend date him, then pretends to be angry at her friend so as to stir up drama, then gossips about whoever doesn't have a scroll-head, then is friends again, then spots a boy who she deems "dardy" because he is also wearing a bintang shirt, possesses a rats tail, and likes 50 cent.


These recyclable girls often have low self esteem- why else would they travel in packs?
they cannot fend by themselves, because, by themselves, they are very weak.


and they MUST look the same because the male members do not want to date someone who looks to different- the unfamiliarity is too much to bear!

They may also forget which girl is his girlfriend that week, so having them all look the same avoids confusion between an "undardy" girl and a recyclable girl.


The girl also finds it amusing to travel in company of male members of the "I'M SO COOL, I USE BAD GRAMMAR AND TALK ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE BINTANG AND MEGAN FOX/PORN STAR" clan.

this is because they believe members of the exterior "undardy" community will see them as automatically cool.

HOWEVER,

apon writing this i have discovered that poseurs and recyclable girls are very closely linked.

I couldn't provide an insight into the "RAD BOI" as i am only a third male, due to my operation gone horribly wrong.



Before I leave, here are some artists you may want to check out, if you even care.

but don't pretend you like the following bands ever, if you really don't.


The Doors
Led Zeppelin
THE RAMONES are the best band to listen to if you hate posers also.
Red Hot Chili Peppers
Rage Against The Machine is probably the second best band to listen to for hating posers.
Radiohead
The Beatles
Queen
The Strokes
The Rolling Stones
The Clash
Anti-Flag
The Sex Pistols

But really, listen to what music you love and wear what YOU like.
Because chances are, you don't really like being a recyclable girl.
And posers just lose their own identity. Which I would never deem cool.

But hey, why would you care?
You're too wrapped up in YOUR own life.

"you only talk to those who look and act the way you do,
cause you think you're so fucking cool"- Anti-Flag.