Ive never written a blog before, dont blame me for the crappiness

okay.
so if you couldn't already tell, i've never written a blog before.
every word i type is being underlined in that annoying red line telling me when i've spelt a word wrong.
I DONT CARE MACHINE!

anyway,
I just thought id rant about something we all know- truth.
Possibly we have heard the saying "the truth will set you free"
whoever said this, is speaking a load of kdefukfu!
examples.

my english teacher tells us that when we make a statement, we must follow it up with proof, so heres an example i think we can all relate to.
Freddie Krueger*

Do you honestly think that if dear old Freddie was caught and took to court (hehe see what i did there?) and he said "yeah bruh, i did kill all those people in their sleep and leave a big pool of blood for those poor old paramedics to clean up" and then he wiggled his extra long arms for the whole jury to see, that he would actually be let off scott free?


Yes, he would.
But this is because the members of the jury would be so scared of good ol' freddie that they would say whatever he wanted them to.

The moral is that power is stronger than truth. It also helps if you have knives for fingernails and aren't actually real.


"Oh," you say, "that was a really crap example Lisa." Very well then, I'll provide another, as I am just so kind and generous and everyone loves me lots and lots (see how easy it is to lie?)
example number 2)[insert famous guys name here]
So, [famous guy] is walking down the street and a group of fan girls notice this. poor old [famous guy] is being persued by these girls until one of them asks him "hey, are you [famous guy]? because if you are, I will totally take you home and we'll get freaky."
[famous guy] says yes, he is [famous guy] and that he would love to go home with her, thinking he can get some.

Next thing he knows he's chained to a bed with no way of escaping and this fan girl turns out to be really fat and looking somewhat like your great grandmother Mildred.
see? the truth SHANT set you free.

However, on the contrary, it is acceptable to tell the truth and to lie.
Which brings me to this instance.

See, my brother comes from Sydney yesterday as my other brother is getting married soon.
he's organising the bucks night and getting everything all sorted, and decides to show me what he plans to have. I soon discover he has gotten boob pinatas, a wind up pair of boobs (yes, they have those, shockingly), bob antennas, an apron with a girls body on it and also some boob confetti. Now this is all well and good- he however did NOT have to show me himself in full costume. So imagine this, your INNOCENTLY going about your daily business, maybe making a death plot or two, when your brother comes in (if you don't have a brother just imagine your father or other mentally scarring family member) to the room, dressed full in boob apron, boob antennas, holding a boob pinata and carefully winding up a wind up boob. I am just thankful he does not have any bucking boobs (like bucking bulls, only more erotic) otherwise I may have been forced to have a go.

So my brother says to me
"Hey Lis' what do you think of my outfit"
Now, being the kind, considerate, thoughtful sister (lie number 1) I am, i say to him
"oh.. its so lovely! you look very attractive!" (lie number 2)
"Yeah, it' pretty awesome, This boob pinata was $70, the biggest boob i've ever seen!" (im assuming this will be truth number 1)
"okay, I hope you enjoy your boob." (lie number 3)
My brother insists on wearing his boob antennae at the dinner table.
all well and good, until he starts talking seriously and passionately about something and the boobs jiggle around vigorously and i cannot help but laugh uncontrollably until tears are streaming out of my eyes. Now, I am a very mature young chap (lie number 4) and try to keep my laughter in, though i fail.

See?
it is definitely acceptable to lie in some cases.
However, you do not want to go and say something stupid like "DEAREST BROTHER, YOUR BOOBS LOOK PLENTIFUL, I REALLY DO ADORE YOUR MARVELLOUS TASTE!"
otherwise you will find yourself like me, wearing a boob apron, and complaining about the truth.
ANYWHO,
thats the first (and probably, seeing as noone will read this, the last) of my blogs, and i hope you enjoyed my lovely writing skills.
I think I'm also obliged to say that jennifer and rebecca are homos (truth number 2)
GOOD DAY!

*the guy from "a nightmare on elm street" who has knives for his fingernails and kills people in his sleep. WATCH THE MOVIE NOW!